SEO Blog

A problem with life on the west coast is that one is always three hours behind the east. For bloggers out here on the perimeter, those extra three hours present challenges beyond getting a good breakfast in time to get some work done. While our east coast colleagues are gearing up for lunch, we are wiping the sleep out of our eyes and chugging the first cups of coffee before sitting down to read headlines from the search media.

Most days, this problem is little more than a minor annoyance. On days like today (April 1) however, being bleary eyed while reading headlines can be dangerous. It is April Fools Day and the search media is full of misleading, teasing headlines. This morning, while preparing for an important conference call, I was caught by one.

I want to believe… I want to believe… I want to… awwww shucks, it’s April Fools Day. Only a fool would believe a headline as tantalizing as the one that appeared at the newly renamed Search Engine Squaretable, “Berkowitz Replaced by Lanzone at Microsoft“.

Yup… only a fool would want to believe something that would make so much sense. I, unfortunately, am that fool.

The other problem with living on the west coast is that, when you have a good April Fools Joke headline ready (it takes a few minutes to think of these things), it is already past noon on the east coast and that is where the majority of readers are. Everybody knows it is poor form to fob off an April Fools’ joke past noon. Somebody should tell my informants that. On April Fools’ Day, I never know what to believe.

Like all search writers, I have a series of informants out there watching your every move. It’s true. Danny has a small army of them. The Kevins from SEW keep a number of detectives on retainer. Loren Baker from SEJournal has found a way to charm women into sending him information daily (it’s uncanny). Me, I like to threaten mine with violence and -60 penalties.

Here is a quick run-down of what folks have been telling me this morning. Following the law of averages the mainstream media appears to rely on, one of these notes HAS to be true.

Someone close to the organization wrote me about Andrew Goodman’s hole in one at the Centreville course on Toronto’s Centre Island the other day but, as there was no-one around to verify it, I can’t report it as fact and have to assume it is a joke.

Similarly, the email about Danny Sullivan being pulled off a Virgin Atlantic flight for making a fuss about seating arrangements has to be false.

The email I received about a few SES organizers being found by security last Tuesday still sleeping it off under a sofa in the lobby of the Midtown Hilton is probably not true though the one about Dax trying to pawn their piano at a shop in Times Square is.

Todd Friesen has not moved to Seattle as expected. According to an email I received early this morning, he has gone survivalist and has taken his family to a series of caves found under Mount Baker, approximately 200mi north-east of Seattle. As long as the WiFi from a conveniently close convent holds out, Todd should be fine.

Neil Patel has decided to sell his tiny media empire and donate all proceeds to the Anita Borg Foundation.

Matt McGee had been retained to formulate and post next year’s March Madness rankings. Unfortunately, he was caught taking bribes from the WebProNews staff to inflate Kentucky’s position and give them games they might possibly win.

Due to his losing an unfortunate bet with Rand, Chris Boggs will be sporting a Seattle Seahawks jersey at most (if not all) major search functions this year.

That’s it for the April First emails. We now resume our regularly scheduled day. (the sky is falling)